Monday, October 12, 2009

How could you be so heartless?

Perhaps not the ideal title but thats what on my ipod at the moment. Thats the best title I can name this blog. On top of the fact that it is a cold and gloomy , I have to put up with peoples crap. Having them expect for me to shut my mouth and not stand up for myself. There is no way that I will shed tears and keep how I feel inside, much less my thoughts to myself. I am not here to pump your ego. I am not here to sugar coat things. I am not here to be the person you want me to only at your convenience. Whether you like it or not "I will" tell you how it is. You have two choices, stay or walk away, Just remember that whatever choice you make it's YOUR choice. I think I have been clear enough, vulnerable enough and definitely patient enough.

"How could you be so Dr. Evil, you bringin' out a side of me that I dont know...I decided we weren't gon' speak so.."

I can be the sweetest girl but when I am mad, I am MAD! Kind of like when you see cartoons and anger rises up and you see steam coming out of the cartoons ear. Well something similar to that. It's as if something boils up inside me and I turn into "the green monster". Dr.Evil? HAHA! Thats me! If people would only shut up though and listen. If people would stop being so stupid and look at the good things starring them in the face. I guess it's trues what they say though (people like tough love). 

I've had my share of crap though. Enough is enough. If you want to go in circles and make a paper kite of your life so be it, but I will NOT be a part and get tangled. Today I am taking a stand! 

After goes on doesn't it?

I want to cuuuuddle! Its

I want to cuuuuddle! Its gloomy & cold! Such days make me sad =( Its like something is missing (sigh).

Sunday, October 11, 2009


It's sunday and it's cold. As I sit here in front of this screen thoughts of doubts are going through my head. Insecurity and a bad feeling. You know that sick feeling that makes you want to throw up and gives you that knott feeling in your throat? That type of feeling that you can't shake off? Well as I sit here trying to make the best of this morning, Im hoping it's just me being paranoid. I love this quote that says:

" There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.
Doubt seperates people.
It is a person that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations.
It is a thorn that irritates and hurts, it is a sword that kills "

At the end of the day, the only person who's hurt is yourself. The worst part of doubt is that feeling of anxiety. Anxiety that no matter how you want to relieve, it remains.

Saturday, October 10, 2009


I was introduced to this world of blogging by a couple people I think have interesting views and very well outspoken mind. And though the thought of blogging has been in mind and really urging, I have fallen short to the act of actually blogging. So after a couple incidents I have FINALLY decided to spend some time to place these thoughts and incidents that happen to this girl that is simply trying to find her way in this world. I have realized that this could possibly serve me well as an attempt to release some frustration and put myself together when this world is weighing heavy on me. Lately it seems thats all it's been; a heavy load.

I am ready now.

I want to be a part of this blogger world and just type away.

(ideas, thoughts, encouragements???)